GREGORY WARNER, HOST:
Hey, it's Gregory Warner. This is ROUGH TRANSLATION.
I used to love making New Year's resolutions. As a kid, I was a terrible nerd about it. Like, I'd write them out. I'd even put them in an envelope. I don't even think I ever begged my parents to let me stay up and watch fireworks, like my own kids do now. I was just too excited about waking up early on January 1 to get started on my list of goals. At some point, I just dropped the whole resolution tradition - didn't do the list at all. In part, I think I just get tired of the sight of so many abandoned goals. They haunted me with their undoneness (ph).
And so it was with some interest that I came across a phrase recently in a science journal - goal disengagement. It's basically the opposite of setting new goals for yourself for the future. Goal disengagement is letting go of old goals from the past that you will no longer strive for. And depressing as that may sound, these researchers from NYU were making the case that actually one thing that can help you succeed in new goals, or at least be happier and less stressed, is to go through this process - letting go of old goals that no longer serve you, saying, you know what? This year, I'm not going to try to learn that new language. I am not going to go low carb - or letting go of bigger things as well. When I asked subscribers on my Substack, what have you had to let go of...
UNIDENTIFIED PERSON #1: Yeah, I mean. I'm not completely sure what I'm doing, but...
WARNER: ...A few brave people responded. Because it's not easy in a culture that reveres success and achievement to talk about the ambitions you've abandoned...
UNIDENTIFIED PERSON #1: I guess I'm doing this. OK. So for many, many years, I wanted to become a professor.
WARNER: ...Or the dreams you've had to discard.
UNIDENTIFIED PERSON #2: I had a vision of what married life would be, and it didn't turn out to be that way. And so I had to...
WARNER: But in all of your stories, you did make clear what letting go of old goals has made possible for you now.
UNIDENTIFIED PERSON #1: I think I've realized that I wanted to become a professor for many years to kind of feel security.
UNIDENTIFIED PERSON #3: I worked as a school crossing guard, which was something I never thought I would have the courage to do. I got to become part of a neighborhood. So I have to say I am grateful.
WARNER: So for this end-of-year message from ROUGH TRANSLATION, at the close of a year that has scrambled ambitions for so many of us, I just wanted to pull out for you three stories from our archives that I've found myself listening back to, stories that really do fit this theme of the curious power of letting go. And if you're a new listener who's just discovered this podcast, even though NPR has ended this podcast going forward, I hope these stories might be a gateway for you to enjoy our archives of timeless narrative stories.
One of the stories I chose is about admitting failure in public, and it's this group that holds these failure storytelling nights. That one's called Failure Is A Four-Letter Word. Another story I chose is about learning from failure on the battlefield. I used to live in Afghanistan, work in Afghanistan, report in Afghanistan. I've never heard a story like this one about barely missed opportunities, incredible resilience after a disaster. That one's called War Poems. And then finally, an old fan favorite about a woman who has to let go of her shame around surrogacy in order to grow a new international family, and that one's called American Surrogate. You can find all those links below in the show notes and a link to the study I referenced about goal disengagement.
And for new stuff, brand-new stuff, if you want to hear new stories from me, check out my Substack newsletter. I'll be sending you interviews as well as audio stories. I have a brand-new kind of very personal story about letting go that just won a Jury Prize. I hope you'll check that one out. And I'll also be giving you lots of chances to share your own stories, just like the brave folks you heard from earlier who shared their stories about letting go. And, of course, the Substack is the best way to keep track of what happens, whatever 2024 brings for me. For listeners who love ROUGH TRANSLATION, I will be letting you know. So you can subscribe for free at gregorywarner.substack.com.
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