'Wait Wait' for June 29, 2024: With Not My Job guest Christian Mcbride
JENNIFER MILLS, BYLINE: The following program was taped in front of an audience of real, live people.
(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)
BILL KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME, the NPR news quiz. I'm the voice as smooth as my cohost's head...
(LAUGHTER)
KURTIS: ...Bill Kurtis. And here is your host at the TD Pavilion at the Mann in Philadelphia, Pa., Peter Sagal.
(CHEERING)
PETER SAGAL, HOST:
Thank you, everybody. Thank you.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: We are delighted to be back in Philadelphia. Later on, we're going to be talking to one of its famous native sons, jazz legend Christian McBride. But first, I got to say, this city has changed. It is no longer the famously belligerent place it used to be. And there's one reason. Its sports teams are good now.
(CHEERING)
SAGAL: It's true.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: Just the other day, we saw a bunch of happy Phillies fans politely offering a selection of batteries to the opposing player.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: So don't worry about being booed when you call in to play our games. The number is 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Now, let's welcome our first listener contestant. Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME.
NINA: Hi, this is Nina (ph) in Brooklyn, N.Y.
SAGAL: Hey, Nina. How are things in Brooklyn?
(CHEERING)
NINA: Is that a boo?
(LAUGHTER)
JOYELLE NICOLE JOHNSON: Yes.
SAGAL: It's Philadelphia. You knew what you were getting into...
NINA: Wow.
SAGAL: ...Nina, when you called.
JOHNSON: Brooklyn's in the house, Nina, OK?
PETER GROSZ: Nina, just say you're from Philly. Just pivot.
SAGAL: Yeah, just pivot. Say you love Philly.
NINA: I can't do that.
SAGAL: Say you love Philly. So Nina, you live in Brooklyn. What incredibly cool, hip Brooklyn thing, do you do?
NINA: I work at a creative agency for social impact. And also, I co-own a boxing gym with some friends.
SAGAL: Exactly.
(APPLAUSE)
KURTIS: She'd fit.
SAGAL: I love it. I absolutely do. Well, Nina, welcome to our show. And let me introduce you to our panel. First up, a comedian whose album "Yell Joy" is available everywhere now. It's Joyelle Nicole Johnson.
JOHNSON: Hey, Nina.
(APPLAUSE)
JOHNSON: I live in...
NINA: Hi.
JOHNSON: ...Brooklyn, too. What up, girl? We neighbors.
SAGAL: Next up, an actor and writer who could be seen at ComedySportz Philadelphia, in the acclaimed improv show 2 Square on July 20. It's Peter Grosz.
GROSZ: Hi there.
(APPLAUSE)
NINA: Hello.
GROSZ: I also live in Brooklyn.
SAGAL: And you can see her July 13 at the Colonial Theater in Bethlehem, N.H., and July 14 at the Music Hall Lounge in Portsmouth, N.H. It's Dulce Sloan.
(CHEERING)
DULCE SLOAN: Boo.
JOHNSON: How dare you?
SLOAN: 'Twas me who booed.
(LAUGHTER)
SLOAN: I will boo on New York every chance I get, mama.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Well, Nina, you, of course, are going to be playing Who's Bill This Time? Bill Kurtis is going to read you three quotations from this week's news. If you can correctly identify or explain two of them, you will win our prize - any voice from our show you might choose in your voicemail. Are you ready to do it?
NINA: I am.
SAGAL: All right. Your first quote is from the president of the United States of America.
KURTIS: You're the sucker. You're the loser.
SAGAL: That was President Biden speaking to former President Trump in a very presidential event on Thursday night. What was it?
NINA: Oh, man. The presidential debate.
SAGAL: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
NINA: (Laughter).
SAGAL: The correct answer and the correct tone.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: So now it's done. The question before America now is basically, which grandpa do you want to spend Thanksgiving with...
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: ...The one who accidentally says racist things or the one who does it on purpose?
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: One of the first things everybody started talking about immediately was how hoarse Biden was, or, as the New York Times put it, quote, "he was very hoarse."
SLOAN: So you think he was practicing in the mirror too much? Like, he had, like, a big audition coming up in, like, the high school play. And then he rehearsed too much. And then he lost his voice.
SAGAL: It's possible. Or...
GROSZ: It's like Biden can always find new ways to appear old.
SAGAL: Yeah.
GROSZ: Like, I would have - like...
SLOAN: (Laughter).
GROSZ: ...Oh, he's going to yawn, or his eyes are going to sag. But he's like, no, I'm going to sound like Mel Brooks doing the (laughter) 2000 Year Old Man. (Impersonating groan).
SLOAN: I think it's so interesting that the Founding Fathers were like, no man with this many charges against him is going to run for president, right?
SAGAL: Right.
GROSZ: Yeah.
SLOAN: Like, there was just little things - they were like, no man who's been in jail - we don't have to write this down, right?
GROSZ: You know what it was?
SAGAL: Nah.
GROSZ: They were like, hey - if someone from the future went back and was like, the number 34 is really important, they would be like, well, that's middle age. I'm sure no man under 34 should be president. You're like, no, it's a number of charges.
(LAUGHTER)
SLOAN: Yeah. That's probably why there's no cap 'cause no one made it to the age that Trump and Biden are.
SAGAL: Right.
GROSZ: Yeah.
SLOAN: So they've never met an 80-year-old man.
(LAUGHTER)
SLOAN: So they're like, no one lived 80 years. That's survival. Like, no one had ever...
(LAUGHTER)
GROSZ: Right. Exactly.
SAGAL: I feel...
SLOAN: Well, they didn't have to write it down 'cause you died at 51. So, like...
SAGAL: Only out of sucking up, I have to point out the one exception was Ben Franklin.
JOHNSON: How old was he?
SAGAL: He - as far as I know...
(CHEERING)
SAGAL: ...He's still alive.
JOHNSON: Shut up.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: And...
SLOAN: But didn't he...
GROSZ: It's the syphilis. Syphilis kills every other disease. And then you just...
SAGAL: Exactly.
GROSZ: ...Live forever.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Nina, your...
NINA: Yes.
SAGAL: ...Next quote is from the actor Naomi Watts, confessing some ignorance to The Wall Street Journal.
KURTIS: I knew about hot flashes because they were on TV.
SAGAL: Miss Watts was expressing her gratitude for a new initiative to bring attention finally to what important women's health issue?
NINA: Menopause.
SAGAL: Yes, menopause.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: Big round of applause for...
GROSZ: I was going to say...
SAGAL: ...Menopause. Yeah.
GROSZ: ...That's the loud - that's the most applause menopause has ever gotten.
SAGAL: Somewhere, menopause is grateful, I guess. Menopause - otherwise known when - those few years when your mom got weird. And it is finally getting its due attention, unlike, say, just about any woman who has gone through menopause.
JOHNSON: We all going through menopause right now in this amphitheater. I'll tell you that.
(LAUGHTER)
GROSZ: The hot flashes.
SAGAL: It is a little warm.
SLOAN: Not me...
JOHNSON: Yes.
SLOAN: ...Baby. I'm from the South. I live on this. I'm hot at night.
GROSZ: So what's the - is there, like, specific research that's now...
SAGAL: Yeah. Let me...
GROSZ: ...Being done or something like that?
SAGAL: The New York Times this week reported about attempts to delay menopause, which, in fact, could help women live longer and healthier and even remain fertile longer as they age.
UNIDENTIFIED AUDIENCE MEMBER #1: No.
SAGAL: It's true. No, no, that's...
SLOAN: (Laughter).
SAGAL: No. Oh, no. No.
JOHNSON: I wish, girl.
SAGAL: It's good. It's good, but it is going to be weird to have to introduce your grandkids to their new baby aunt.
(LAUGHTER)
SLOAN: Oh, we've been doing that for centuries.
JOHNSON: Yeah.
GROSZ: But also, just, like...
(LAUGHTER)
SLOAN: Like, doesn't Robert De Niro have, like, a 3-month-old?
SAGAL: He does.
(LAUGHTER)
JOHNSON: Al Pacino got a 2-month-old.
SLOAN: So here's my thing. We've - nature has gone, OK, women, you got to stop. But they've just gone, men, do what you do. And I don't understand why there was never a cutoff.
SAGAL: Yeah. Well, that's true. In fact, Jill Biden, the first lady, recently introduced this new, well-funded presidential initiative to fund studies into menopause. And she says - quite reasonably - that society has always prioritized men's health over women's. That's why old women now get, well, I guess you'll shrivel and die. And old men get, here, have some zero-fide-effect (ph) hair growth and boner pills.
(LAUGHTER)
JOHNSON: I would like to fund male birth control.
UNIDENTIFIED AUDIENCE MEMBER #2: Yeah.
(CHEERING)
SLOAN: OK. Here's the thing.
(APPLAUSE)
SLOAN: If some man told you...
JOHNSON: Yeah.
SLOAN: ...That he was on birth control...
JOHNSON: Yeah.
SLOAN: ...Would you believe him?
(LAUGHTER)
JOHNSON: Touche.
SAGAL: All right. Nina, here is your last quote.
KURTIS: You just stare at the seat in front of you. All you hear is the drumming of the engine.
SAGAL: That was someone quoted in GQ praising the new trend of giving up all entertainment and other distractions while doing what?
NINA: Flying on an airplane.
SAGAL: That's right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
JOHNSON: Yes, sweetie.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: Forget podcast books, movies on the little screen in the back of your chair. The latest, coolest trend in air travel is, quote, "raw dogging."
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: That's what they call it, which means forgoing all the distractions in a flight and just staring at the back of the seat in front of you. Never has something so dull been called something you really should not look up on Urban Dictionary.
(LAUGHTER)
GROSZ: It's not necessary.
SAGAL: No.
GROSZ: I mean, that's the only time I read is...
SAGAL: I know. Yes.
GROSZ: ...When I'm on a flight.
SLOAN: If it proves anything, it's men need therapy.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: This is true. This is mostly men...
SLOAN: To just go...
SAGAL: ...Doing this.
SLOAN: I - the fact that it's called raw dogging...
JOHNSON: Right.
SLOAN: ...A flight (laughter)...
JOHNSON: You know a man said that (laughter).
SLOAN: A man was like, (impersonating deep male voice) yeah, I was just sitting there, didn't do [expletive]. He said, man, I was raw dogging that flight. You're like, bro.
(LAUGHTER)
GROSZ: Right.
SLOAN: You forgot a book and your phone died. How dare you (laughter)?
GROSZ: It's also that he had to come up with, like, a really aggressive name for...
SLOAN: Yeah.
GROSZ: ...Not doing anything.
SLOAN: You were sitting next to a mother and a child. You raw dogged nothing. What are you talking about?
(LAUGHTER)
JOHNSON: She raw dogged, actually.
SLOAN: That's how she got that baby.
JOHNSON: Yeah.
SLOAN: What are you talking about?
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Bill, how did Nina do in our quiz?
KURTIS: Nina came to town, won three and goes home a winner.
SAGAL: Congratulations.
(CHEERING)
SAGAL: It's a knockout. Congratulations, Nina. Thank you so much for playing.
(APPLAUSE)
NINA: Thank you.
SAGAL: Take care.
(SOUNDBITE OF LENNY KRAVITZ SONG, "FLY AWAY")
SAGAL: Panel, it is time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Joyelle, Bill Kurtis has another quote for you from this week's news. It is a spokesman for the Boeing Corporation.
JOHNSON: Lord.
KURTIS: The astronauts are not stranded.
SAGAL: Where are two astronauts absolutely stranded?
JOHNSON: In a Boeing rocket ship.
SAGAL: Not quite. They made it there, but they can't yet come back.
JOHNSON: They on the moon.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: No, not that far.
JOHNSON: They on the top of the Mann amphitheater?
SAGAL: No. Where do astronauts tend to go these days when they go to near-Earth orbit? They get off their spaceship, and they get into...
JOHNSON: A space station.
SAGAL: Yes. The space station.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: The ISS.
JOHNSON: We got there.
(CHEERING)
JOHNSON: She got there.
SAGAL: You got there.
GROSZ: That was a fun journey.
SAGAL: Did you - Joyelle, did you know there is a space station up there?
JOHNSON: No.
(LAUGHTER)
JOHNSON: I didn't remember that.
SAGAL: OK.
JOHNSON: Nobody told me that.
SAGAL: You're more concerned with earthly pursuits, but that's OK.
JOHNSON: Absolutely.
GROSZ: That's my bad.
JOHNSON: I'm on the ground.
GROSZ: She asked me to tell her if there were any permanent structures pulled up in space.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: You didn't tell her.
GROSZ: I dropped the ball.
SAGAL: All right.
JOHNSON: He done lied to me.
SAGAL: Yeah. They are stranded on the International Space Station. Astronauts Butch Wilmore and Suni Williams were the first to fly Boeing's new Starliner rocket to the ISS. And lucky them, they get to stay up there an extra month maybe. It's like winning a vacation on a game show if your vacation consisted of drinking out of one bag and peeing into another.
(LAUGHTER)
JOHNSON: I think I thought they only had space stations in the movies.
SLOAN: Girl, what?
(LAUGHTER)
JOHNSON: I'm being honest.
SAGAL: It's been up there for, like, 20 years. It's...
SLOAN: Yeah.
JOHNSON: I ain't been there.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: OK. All right.
GROSZ: Yeah, but you also haven't been to, like, Tokyo, and you know that there is a Tokyo.
KURTIS: (Laughter).
JOHNSON: How do you know I haven't been to Tokyo, Peter?
SLOAN: Oh, how you know she ain't been to Tokyo, Peter?
(LAUGHTER)
GROSZ: Let's ask. Have you been to Tokyo?
JOHNSON: I haven't.
GROSZ: I rest my case.
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "OUTER SPACE GIRLS")
SPICE GIRLS: (Singing) Outer space girls. We're rocking to the moon. Outer space girls. A universal groove. Outer space girls.
SAGAL: Coming up, get ready to yell objection to our Bluff the Listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play. We'll be back in a minute with more of WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME from NPR.
(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)
KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME, the NPR news quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis.
(CHEERING)
KURTIS: We are playing this week with Joyelle Nicole Johnson, Dulce Sloan and Peter Grosz. And here again is your host at the Mann Center for the Performing Arts in Philadelphia, Pa., Peter Sagal.
(CHEERING)
SAGAL: Thank you, Bill. Right now it is time for the WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME Bluff the Listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play our game on the air, or you can check out the pinned post on our Instagram page. That's @waitwaitnpr. All the info is right there. Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME.
RACHEL PULIN: Hi, Peter.
SAGAL: Hey. Who's this?
PULIN: Rachel Pulin (ph) calling from Clearfield, Utah.
SAGAL: What do you do there in Clearfield?
PULIN: I am a junior high English teacher and - before anybody says it - yes, voluntarily.
SAGAL: Oh, wow.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Yeah. I mean, you couldn't pay me to go back to junior high school. Is it fun just to be in a room with all those raging hormones and the bodies they're attached to?
PULIN: It is. I say a lot of things out loud that I would not say in any other profession.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Give us...
SLOAN: Like?
SAGAL: Can you give us a sample?
SLOAN: (Laughter) Come on.
GROSZ: Yeah, that's really good.
SAGAL: Give us an example.
PULIN: One of my favorites this last year was, gentlemen, don't put sprinkles up your nose during class.
(LAUGHTER)
JOHNSON: Wow.
SLOAN: So she has a spray bottle and has to hit him like cats and - cats.
SAGAL: Exactly.
PULIN: There you go. Yeah (laughter).
SAGAL: Well, welcome to the show, Rachel. You're going to play the game in which you have to tell truth from fiction. Bill, what is Rachel's topic?
KURTIS: I'll see you in court.
SAGAL: It is rare that we get to see true firsts anymore, what with the Earth being almost 6,000 years old. But...
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: This week, somebody...
PULIN: (Laughter).
SAGAL: ...Sued somebody for a reason we have never seen before. We think it's the first time in history it's happened. Our panelists are going to tell you about it. Pick the real one, and you will win the WAIT WAITer of your choice on your voicemail. Are you ready to play?
PULIN: I am so ready. I've listened to this show since I was 8 years old with my dad. And I cannot believe I'm doing this. So let's do it.
SAGAL: All right. First up, let's hear from Joyelle Nicole Johnson.
JOHNSON: Living in a capitalist society, being sued in small claims court is par for the course. However, has someone ever been sued for passing on bad genes? Diana Cole of Tupelo, Miss., sued her mother, Sabrina, simply for procreating with her father. Diana claimed she has sustained emotional distress when a date left the restaurant when she excused herself to the bathroom. She blames this all on her mother who happens to be a beauty queen who married down.
(LAUGHTER)
JOHNSON: When asked for comment, the former Miss Teen of Tupelo responded, what can I say? He had money, and I had looks. I was hoping the kids would look like me.
(LAUGHTER)
JOHNSON: While this case was dismissed in the court of law, Diana wanted to set a precedent for future generations. I want people to think before they have children. Don't we all, Diana? - the judge responded...
(LAUGHTER)
JOHNSON: ...Before throwing out the case. The ugly, rich father cannot be reached for comment.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: A woman sues her mother for marrying her ugly dog of a dad and passing down those looks. Your next story of suing sui generis comes from Dulce Sloan.
SLOAN: There are many benchmark moments in a relationship - first kiss, meeting the parents and the penultimate taking your partner to the airport. A man in New Zealand promised to take his girlfriend of 6 1/2 years to the airport and watch her dogs while she was out of town for a concert. The day she was supposed to leave, he ghosted her - no call, no show, nada. Now, many in this situation would take this disappointment and let it fester into deep resentment. This young lady, on the other hand, decided to sue.
UNIDENTIFIED AUDIENCE MEMBER #3: Yeah.
SLOAN: The woman argued that his promise was an oral contract, and he had broken it. Unfortunately, he was not found responsible for anything other than being a crappy boyfriend.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: A woman sues her boyfriend for not showing up to take her to the airport like he promised. Your last story of pioneering jurisprudence comes from Peter Grosz.
GROSZ: Sue Stewart works at Super Realty in Sioux City, Iowa. And she loves her job - that is, until this week when Sue's coworker, Suzanne Shoo (ph), told everyone she also wants to be called Sue. Sue assumed she was the only Sue.
(LAUGHTER)
GROSZ: She didn't know what to do. So Sue sued Sue, saying, quote, "I didn't want to sue Sue, but two Sues is more than I can do."
(LAUGHTER)
GROSZ: The case went to court. And the morning the suit would be heard, Sue went to Size Suits (ph), Sioux City's selection for superior suits.
(LAUGHTER)
GROSZ: Sue brought a suit, suited up, then brought her suit against Sue to the Sioux City Suit Center, a small claims court in town. The judge, Susan Stoops, said Sue's suit was not suitable for the Sioux City Suit Center, saying, Sue, screw you.
(CHEERING)
GROSZ: Soothed, Suzanne told the Sioux City Review, I never meant to cause a Sue-on-Sue feud. So Sue and Sue agreed to review over a bowl of soup. So they scooted on over to Super Soup, Sioux City's super spot for savory soups. After a soupcon of soup, Suzanne told Sue she'd undo her sue and changed her name to Carol, which should be fine until Christmas rolls around.
(CHEERING)
SAGAL: Rachel, I just want to say, they might be applauding for the truth.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: You know...
GROSZ: People always do.
SAGAL: People always do.
GROSZ: They always do.
SAGAL: So, Rachel, these are your choices about the pioneering lawsuit. Was it from Joyelle Nicole Johnson, a woman who sued her mother for marrying her ugly dad; from Dulce, a woman who sued her boyfriend for not taking her to the airport like he promised; or from Peter Grosz, Sue of Sioux City suing Sue?
PULIN: I am so impressed with Peter's ability to rattle off the Sues in Sioux City. I am - I'm so impressed with that. But I've spent enough time on Instagram to think that Dulce is probably the one telling the truth.
SAGAL: All right.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: So you think that it's Dulce telling the story of the woman suing...
PULIN: Yes.
SAGAL: ...Her no-good boyfriend. Well, we spoke to a reporter who covered the real story.
NATALIE COMPTON: I would say this really gets to the question of who deserves a ride to the airport. Who should you take to the airport?
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: That was Natalie Compton, a travel reporter for The Washington Post, talking about the ride to the airport case in New Zealand. I should say, we don't know if they're still together, which is an interesting question.
PULIN: (Laughter).
SAGAL: Congratulations, Rachel. You got it right. You have won our prize and a point for...
PULIN: Yay.
GROSZ: ...Dulce just for telling the truth.
(APPLAUSE)
PULIN: Thank you so much.
SAGAL: Thank you for playing. Take care. Good luck with those kids.
PULIN: It's an honor.
SAGAL: Enjoy your summer. And...
PULIN: Thank you. I need it.
SAGAL: ...Good luck with the kids next year.
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "I'LL TAKE YOU THERE")
THE STAPLE SINGERS: (Singing) I'll take you there. Help me, y'all. I'll take you there.
SAGAL: And now the game we call Not My Job. If you're in Philadelphia, you can go over to Independence Hall and see the birthplace of liberty, or you can head down to South Philly and the High School for Creative and Performing Arts and see the birthplace of genius.
(CHEERING)
SAGAL: One of its most famous graduates is Christian McBride - jazz bassist, band leader, nine-time Grammy winner, artistic director of the Newport Jazz Festival and host of NPR's Jazz Night In America. And we are proud to talk to him here in his hometown. Christian McBride, welcome to WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME.
CHRISTIAN MCBRIDE: Thank you.
(CHEERING)
SAGAL: It's nice to be home.
MCBRIDE: It's always nice to be home.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: I want to talk to you about your level of fame because...
MCBRIDE: (Laughter).
SAGAL: ...When I told people that we were having you in the show, I got two reactions. The first reaction was, oh, my God. Christian McBride, that - you're having him in person himself. They were, like, freaking out. They were sending me tracks they need you need to listen to. And the other reaction was, oh.
(LAUGHTER)
MCBRIDE: Right.
SAGAL: So, like, there are, like, certain people who just cannot believe - these are huge, enormous fans.
MCBRIDE: Right.
SAGAL: Is this your experience of, like, walking through life?
MCBRIDE: Well, I always say being a famous jazz bass player is being like a famous plumber.
(LAUGHTER)
MCBRIDE: Because I might not get invited to the party, but you need me.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Is that why when you were a young man here in West Philly having musical ambitions, you chose the bass 'cause you're like, they're always going to need a bassist?
MCBRIDE: (Laughter).
SAGAL: It's like - I can imagine, you know, your mother saying, be a plumber. Plumbers are always necessary.
MCBRIDE: They always work.
SAGAL: Your mother's saying, people need a backbeat, right?
MCBRIDE: Yeah. Well, bass is a family tradition. My dad plays bass. My great-uncle plays bass. So I really didn't have much choice.
SAGAL: Really?
MCBRIDE: (Laughter).
SAGAL: Not a lot of lead melody in your house, then.
MCBRIDE: No.
SAGAL: No, no.
MCBRIDE: Not at all.
SAGAL: No.
MCBRIDE: Not at all.
SAGAL: And tell me about that. I mean, there's - you could have rebelled, right? You could have picked up a guitar or something else - wind instrument. What was it about the bass that you loved?
MCBRIDE: I always just thought the bass was cool because it made people dance. You know, the bass and the drums are what make -that's what makes you dance...
SAGAL: Right.
MCBRIDE: ...You know? And...
(CHEERING)
MCBRIDE: That's right.
(APPLAUSE)
MCBRIDE: Bass is one of those instruments where, like - you know, I always say the best bass players are the ones who aren't noticed because when the groove starts getting funny and people can't dance anymore, that's when they look up on stage and say, hey, hey, hey.
(LAUGHTER)
MCBRIDE: What's going on up there?
SAGAL: Yeah.
MCBRIDE: You also have to be very nice to bass players because we could easily sabotage the music.
SAGAL: Really?
(LAUGHTER)
MCBRIDE: Oh, yeah. Absolutely. Bass and drums, like I said, hold all the power. So if you want to be a diva, you go right ahead. One of these days...
SAGAL: (Laughter).
MCBRIDE: ...You're going to feel the bass and the drum stop or play something that you're not expecting and so much for all that showboating out in front.
SAGAL: Right.
MCBRIDE: Yeah.
SAGAL: So when you were starting out, were you immediately into jazz? Was that your first love?
MCBRIDE: No. I wanted to play with James Brown.
SAGAL: Really? That was your thing?
MCBRIDE: Yes, which I'm very happy to say I eventually did. But I grew up as an R&B kid, you know, Philly - you know, Gamble and Huff.
SAGAL: And you actually got to play - you've played with a lot of people - but you actually got to play with James Brown.
MCBRIDE: I got to play with Mr. Brown. Yes.
SAGAL: And what about - what's it like meeting your heroes, in the case of Mr. Brown?
MCBRIDE: It's complicated.
SAGAL: Yeah. That's what everybody says.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: We heard that he used to levy fines on...
MCBRIDE: Oh, yes.
SAGAL: ...His band members if you screwed up.
MCBRIDE: That was - but that was standard practice for a lot of band leaders in the '40s and '50s. You know, Ray Charles did that. Lionel Hampton did that. Benny Goodman did that. That was part of the gig, you know? Like, if you screwed up - $10 coming out of your pay...
SAGAL: Right.
MCBRIDE: ...At the end of the night.
SAGAL: So you're...
MCBRIDE: Now, of course, James Brown kept that practice going long after everybody stopped...
SAGAL: Right. Yeah.
MCBRIDE: ...Doing it. Right.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Significant part of his income, I'm sure, by the end. Yeah.
MCBRIDE: (Laughter) Right.
SAGAL: Yeah. So when did you get into jazz?
MCBRIDE: When I first started playing the double bass when I got to middle school - 'cause I'd been playing the electric bass for a couple of years - my great-uncle, Howard, who's the other bass player in the family, he was so excited. He said, come over to my house. I got something for you. And now that he found out that I was playing the double bass, he said, hey, I'm going to turn you on to the cat. So he spent the whole day playing nothing but jazz albums for me.
And my great-uncle had this very cool way of - you know, he would put a record on. And he had a chair similar to this. He would sit down, and he would sit way down like this.
(LAUGHTER)
MCBRIDE: He'd light up a cigarette and have a glass of wine. And he would start playing air bass along with the record.
SAGAL: Right.
MCBRIDE: And, you know, he would slap me on the arm and say, hey, listen what Coltrane is about to do. And he'd point at the record. Ooh, you see - you hear that? And so it was so entertaining...
SAGAL: Yeah.
MCBRIDE: ...Watching my great-uncle listen to jazz. I said, well, if jazz makes him that cool, then I want to be cool, too.
SAGAL: Right.
(LAUGHTER)
MCBRIDE: So that one visit with my great-uncle.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: Yeah.
MCBRIDE: Yeah.
SAGAL: And then...
JOHNSON: Does he also do that during movies?
MCBRIDE: Probably.
JOHNSON: (Laughter).
SAGAL: Yeah.
MCBRIDE: Yeah. Yeah.
SAGAL: You have - so you - I don't know how many ensembles and groups you've started in your career. But my understanding is the latest one is called the New Jawn.
MCBRIDE: Actually, the New Jawn is...
(CHEERING)
MCBRIDE: Right.
SAGAL: That's - I should say for non-Philadelphians, that's not the name John. That's J-A-W-N.
MCBRIDE: I actually have a new group since the New Jawn.
SAGAL: Oh, I'm sorry. So what...
MCBRIDE: Yeah. So the New Jawn is the Old Jawn now.
SAGAL: I see. Yeah.
MCBRIDE: Right.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Can you explain to non-Philadelphians what a jawn is?
MCBRIDE: It's a person, place or thing.
SAGAL: Yeah.
MCBRIDE: You know, Joyelle could have a new partner or whatever, that - hey, you seen Joyelle's new jawn...
JOHNSON: A new jawn.
SAGAL: Really?
MCBRIDE: ...You know? Yeah.
SLOAN: Well, it's interesting 'cause - and I grew up in Atlanta, so jawning, which is off - it's - that's how - I guess that's a place - they call it the dozens.
SAGAL: Yeah.
SLOAN: So when we're going back and forth, that's what we call jawning.
MCBRIDE: Well, see, jawn has different versions regionally. Like, in New York, it's joint.
JOHNSON: Yeah.
SLOAN: Right.
MCBRIDE: You know, someone said in Memphis - this is funny - they said it's junt in Memphis.
JOHNSON: Junt?
MCBRIDE: Yeah. Junt. Yeah.
SAGAL: Yeah.
MCBRIDE: And so, you know, I don't know what it is on the West Coast.
SAGAL: Yeah. Who cares?
MCBRIDE: Who cares?
SAGAL: Yeah.
MCBRIDE: Right.
(LAUGHTER)
SLOAN: I'm sure Kendrick Lamar will tell us.
MCBRIDE: Right. Right.
SAGAL: Well, Christian McBride, it is such a pleasure to talk to you in your hometown, and we have asked you back here to play a game we're calling...
KURTIS: Bass pro, meet Bass Pro.
MCBRIDE: Oh, man.
(LAUGHTER)
MCBRIDE: I was afraid...
SAGAL: Really?
MCBRIDE: Oh, man.
SAGAL: You anticipated that?
MCBRIDE: I was hoping to be baseball and not bass - oh, boy. I mean...
SLOAN: Have you ever been to a Bass Pro shop?
MCBRIDE: I - no.
SAGAL: No. OK.
JOHNSON: They're one of the best stores in the world.
MCBRIDE: Really?
SAGAL: Well, all right.
SLOAN: Yes. I love a Bass Pro shop.
MCBRIDE: (Laughter).
SAGAL: Exactly.
SLOAN: It's fun.
SAGAL: So you know about...
JOHNSON: You contain multitudes.
GROSZ: That one's a good look, Joyelle.
SAGAL: You're a world-renowned genius when it comes to the bass, the instruments.
JOHNSON: So much fun.
SAGAL: So what do you know about Bass, the pro shop? We're going to ask you three questions about the outdoor store that is not REI. Answer two out of three questions correctly, you'll win the prize for one of our listeners, the WAIT WAITer of their choice on their voicemail. Bill, who is jazz legend Christian McBride playing for?
KURTIS: Chris Dunn (ph) of Philadelphia, Pa.
SAGAL: Hometown guy.
(CHEERING)
SAGAL: All right. So Bass Pro Shops are famous for their enormous sales floors and the things on them, like giant aquariums, actual running streams through the floor and more. All of that natural beauty, though, can backfire as in which of these cases? A, one store in Texas is now home to a family of geese who refused to let anyone go near the camping supply section...
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: ...B, at a shop in Florida, a man showed up with a net, scooped a 50-pound fish right out of the aquarium and then just walked out with it; or C, a store in Kansas was declared a protected environment for a species of endangered fish, and now nobody is allowed inside.
(LAUGHTER).
UNIDENTIFIED AUDIENCE MEMBERS: B.
MCBRIDE: Yeah. Well, considering this is America...
SAGAL: Yeah.
MCBRIDE: ...I would go with B.
SAGAL: Right.
KURTIS: Oh.
SAGAL: Meaning this is the place where...
KURTIS: Yes.
SAGAL: ...People just go in there and take...
MCBRIDE: Yeah.
SAGAL: ...That fish.
MCBRIDE: Right. Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: No price tag on it.
(APPLAUSE)
MCBRIDE: That's right.
SAGAL: You were right. Yes. That's what happened.
(CHEERING)
SAGAL: And according to the store, the thief - and perhaps, for all we know, the fish - is still at large. Maybe he was rescuing it in a "Finding Nemo" kind of way. We don't know.
MCBRIDE: (Laughter).
SAGAL: Now, next question. One of the most famous Bass Pro Shops is the one in Memphis, Tenn. In addition to being very popular, it is notable for one other reason. What is it? A, all of the fish in the aquarium are descendants of the fish that Elvis had in his aquarium...
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: ...B, it has an actual moat you can test-drive their motorboats in...
JOHNSON: Oh.
SAGAL: ...Or C, it is located inside one of the largest pyramids in the world.
UNIDENTIFIED AUDIENCE MEMBERS: C.
MCBRIDE: Well, I know the arena where the Grizzlies play is actually called the Pyramid, right?
SAGAL: Right. Yes.
MCBRIDE: I'm going to go with C.
SAGAL: Yeah, it is.
GROSZ: That's right.
KURTIS: He's right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: Yeah. The Pyramid was built...
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: ...For some civic purpose.
MCBRIDE: That's a big junt.
SAGAL: It's a big junt. Yeah.
GROSZ: Yeah. It's a big junt.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: It's meant to be a two-thirds scale model of the Great Pyramid of Giza. And just like that world wonder, it was also built by aliens.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: And now there's a Bass Pro Shop in it, which is pretty awesome. All right. Here's your last question. Sadly, not everyone is happy with Bass Pro shops. In fact, a man once filed a $5 million lawsuit against that company over what? A, the fact that he spent over $3,000 on premium fishing gear and still could not catch anything...
(LAUGHTER)
MCBRIDE: That sounds American.
SAGAL: ...B, they stopped...
JOHNSON: (Laughter) Yeah.
SAGAL: ...Replacing his $12 pair of socks after about 10 times, even though they had a lifetime guarantee...
MCBRIDE: (Laughter).
SAGAL: ...Or C, he got dysentery after getting thirsty in the middle of the store and taking a drink from one of the artificial trout streams.
UNIDENTIFIED AUDIENCE MEMBER #1: All three.
JOHNSON: Wow.
GROSZ: B.
JOHNSON: Oh.
UNIDENTIFIED AUDIENCE MEMBER #2: C.
MCBRIDE: Well, I already got two out of three, right?
SAGAL: You did, man.
UNIDENTIFIED AUDIENCE MEMBER #4: B.
MCBRIDE: I'm actually going to go with A.
SAGAL: You're going to go with A, the fact that he spent $3,000 on fishing gear and still couldn't catch anything.
MCBRIDE: Yeah.
SAGAL: No. It was actually B. It was about the return of the socks. Bill, how did Christian McBride do on our quiz?
KURTIS: Well, he's a winner. Two out of three. That's a win.
SAGAL: Congratulations.
SLOAN: (Imitating air horn).
(CHEERING).
JOHNSON: Bom, bom, bom, bom (ph).
SAGAL: Christian McBride is a Grammy-winning bassist and the artistic director of the Newport Jazz Festival and the Jazz House Kids. Christian McBride...
SAGAL: ...Thank you so much for playing with us here in Philadelphia.
MCBRIDE: Thank you.
SAGAL: Christian McBride, everybody.
(SOUNDBITE OF CHRISTIAN MCBRIDE AND NEW JAWN'S "EAST BROADWAY RUNDOWN")
SAGAL: In just a minute, how Taylor Swift might be warping your brain. It's the Listener Limerick challenge. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to join us on the air. We'll be back in a minute with more of WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME from NPR.
(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)
KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME, the NPR news quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis. We are playing this week with Peter Grosz, Dulce Sloan and Joyelle Nicole Johnson. And here again is your host at the Mann Center for the Performing Arts in Philadelphia, Pa., Peter Sagal.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: Thank you, Bill. In just a minute, one of you may be picked to win $10,000 during our Listener Limerick Challenge game. I mean, almost certainly not, but you never know.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. But right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news.
SLOAN: All right.
SAGAL: Peter, I have a question for you. Peter, running clubs are a great way to get some exercise, get sweaty and smelly in a big group of people. But these days, apparently, they're also being used for doing what?
GROSZ: Finding sexual partners.
SAGAL: Exactly right...
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: ...Finding a date.
GROSZ: Oh, really?
SAGAL: Yeah, exactly right.
SLOAN: Ew.
JOHNSON: I don't like the way you said that.
(LAUGHTER)
GROSZ: Finding sexual partners. And can you give me some names...
SAGAL: Well, Peter...
GROSZ: ...Of some of these clubs?
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Well, Peter just routinely answers that to any question. Like, why do they go to space?
GROSZ: Yeah.
SAGAL: Finding sexual partners.
JOHNSON: Sexual partners.
SAGAL: According to The New York Times, running clubs are the new singles bars because since dating isn't hard enough, let's add the sudden urge to emergency poop your pants.
(LAUGHTER)
JOHNSON: Ew.
SAGAL: And if you do...
GROSZ: Wait a minute...
SAGAL: ...Meet, and it goes well, it'll be a great story for your kids years from now. Oh, well, you know, there was just something about the way your dad's nipples bled.
(LAUGHTER)
GROSZ: Wait. What's the emergency poop your pants part?
SAGAL: That's a thing that sometimes happens to...
JOHNSON: ...America.
GROSZ: Oh, if you run that far. I've assumed running club is like, let's go jog three miles.
SAGAL: Oh, the emergency poop may strike you at any time, Peter.
(LAUGHTER)
SLOAN: I mean, I guess it's - if you take chasing women literally.
SAGAL: That's true.
GROSZ: (Laughter) Yeah.
SAGAL: I will speak for myself. I haven't found any dates that way, but it is a nice, low-pressure way to meet people. You don't have to really worry about what you're going to wear, right? Plus, you have an excuse for being gross and sweaty on, essentially, your first date. They don't need to know that you will also be just like that when you go out to dinner.
(LAUGHTER)
GROSZ: How can you talk, though? You're like, (imitating panting) hey. Hey, man. I grew up in New York. And that - like, the breathing is so labored. There's no - every time I run, and I try to talk to somebody, I'm like, I can't do this.
SAGAL: Well, you...
SLOAN: Yeah.
SAGAL: ...Try to run at a pace where you can speak in a natural way. That's why it works.
GROSZ: Is that called standing still?
SAGAL: Yes, for some.
(LAUGHTER)
JOHNSON: My cousin met her husband in a bike club.
SAGAL: There you are.
JOHNSON: Yeah.
SAGAL: See.
JOHNSON: But then he cheated, and she moved to Mexico.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Wow. That - I was so happy for a second.
JOHNSON: Yeah.
SAGAL: And then you just killed...
GROSZ: That's a lot of drama.
JOHNSON: I can make it sad real quick.
SAGAL: I know.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Dulce...
SLOAN: Yes.
SAGAL: ...As I'm sure you know, camping is a great way to disconnect, get out there, get away from the modern world. That's why companies are now offering what to attach to the side of your tent this summer?
SLOAN: Mirrors.
SAGAL: No.
(LAUGHTER)
SLOAN: Can you give me a clue?
SAGAL: I can. All right. They're very convenient, I guess, and keep you comfortable, but they're very hard to attach to your tent's window.
SLOAN: Oh, air conditioners.
SAGAL: Air conditioners...
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: ...For your camping tent.
KURTIS: Wow.
SLOAN: Yeah. It makes sense.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: It's so wonderful to wake up in the wilderness and hear the sounds of nature. Well, now some innovative companies are asking, but what if you couldn't?
(LAUGHTER)
SLOAN: I have a question for you.
SAGAL: Yes.
SLOAN: ...Peter Sagal. What in the history of knowing me...
SAGAL: Yes.
JOHNSON: (Laughter).
SLOAN: ...Would cause anyone on this team to believe that I go camping?
(LAUGHTER)
SLOAN: Who do I need to talk to?
SAGAL: Yeah.
SLOAN: I'm the Blackest person you know.
SAGAL: Right.
JOHNSON: How dare you say that while you sit next to me?
(LAUGHTER)
SLOAN: I hear you. Joyelle, we're tied for first. So I don't know much about camping because I believe in the power of inside.
(LAUGHTER)
JOHNSON: Two things. First of all, we are both so Black that we have to take our earring off to put our headphones on.
SLOAN: True, true, true, true. True, true. True, true.
JOHNSON: And second, I thought the purpose of camping was to be uncomfortable.
SAGAL: That is kind of the point. Yeah.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: This is the thing, though. People like to camp out in tents, but they want to be cool. You can get a camping tent air conditioner. They cost about 1,500 bucks.
SLOAN: $1,500.
GROSZ: Oh, my God.
JOHNSON: What?
SLOAN: No. You could go to a actual nice hotel,
JOHNSON: A resort.
(LAUGHTER)
SLOAN: For $1,500, there better be a dinosaur in that thing from "The Flintstones" going, it's a living. No.
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "THE OUTDOOR TYPE")
THE LEMONHEADS: (Singing) Always had a roof above me, always paid the rent. But I never set foot inside a tent. I couldn't build a fire to save my life. I lied about being the outdoor type.
SAGAL: Coming up, it's Lightning Fill In The Blank. But first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Or you can catch us most weeks back at the Studebaker Theater in downtown Chicago, Ill. For tickets and information to all of our live shows, just go over to nprpresents.org.
Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME.
GREG: Hi. This is Greg (ph) from Centennial, Colo.
SAGAL: That's great. Centennial is a famous town, but I don't know exactly in Colorado where it is.
GREG: Oh, it's just a southern suburb just south of Denver.
SAGAL: I see. And what do you do there - all the fabulous Colorado things - hiking, mountaineering, that sort of thing?
GREG: Absolutely...
SAGAL: Yeah.
GREG: ...And eating good food and - yeah.
SAGAL: Well, Greg, welcome to our show. Bill Kurtis is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly in two of the limericks, you will be a winner. Are you ready to play?
GREG: Absolutely.
SAGAL: Here's your first limerick.
KURTIS: At the concert, I don't mean to tease you. I think Tay-Tay's perfume smelled like freesia. But things got so hot that I simply forgot. I developed postconcert...
GREG: Amnesia.
SAGAL: Amnesia, yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: Dozens of Taylor Swift fans who saw the Eras Tour are now saying they cannot remember any of it.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: It is a documented phenomenon called postconcert amnesia. It's why whenever I go to a concert, I make flash cards to study on the way home.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Apparently, intense emotions...
GROSZ: Yeah.
SAGAL: ...And adrenaline makes it harder for your brain to store memories. It's why, for example, some people look at their wedding photos and are like, I smeared cake on your face. Why would I do that?
KURTIS: (Laughter).
GROSZ: They're just so overwhelmed with the Taylor Swift of it all...
SAGAL: Yeah.
GROSZ: ...That they just freak out.
SAGAL: They just - there's such a huge freak-out that their brain just cannot - it doesn't have enough processing power, if you will, to store the memories. And so when it's all over, it's just a blur. And they can't remember anything that happened.
SLOAN: Are they remembering the better Beyonce concert? Is that...
(CROSSTALK)
SAGAL: Ooh.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Just slipped that in.
(CHEERING)
SLOAN: I mean, I...
JOHNSON: I remember Beyonce's concert (laughter).
SAGAL: Incredibly (ph)...
SLOAN: Could it not be amnesia and just that it was forgettable?
(LAUGHTER)
JOHNSON: Drag her (laughter).
SLOAN: I'm asking a legitimate question.
(APPLAUSE)
SLOAN: (Laughter) I'm just asking. I'm not trying to start no problems with no 10-year-old. I'm just asking a question.
SAGAL: Oh, it's too late, Dulce.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Here is your next limerick.
KURTIS: I am sick of the club choosing drama. And my kid always whines for his mama. This sweet pet from Peru won't want tips when we're through. As a caddy, I'm choosing a...
UNIDENTIFIED AUDIENCE MEMBER #5: Llama.
GREG: Llama.
SAGAL: That's right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: At the Sherwood Forest golf course in North Carolina, you can book a llama to carry your clubs around while you golf. Apparently, llamas are perfect caddies 'cause they can carry heavy loads and are gentle grazers, unlike human caddies, who are constantly tearing up the fairway in their passionate mating displays.
(LAUGHTER)
GROSZ: Don't they - do they spit in your face if you pick the wrong club?
SAGAL: Exactly. That's how they let you know.
GROSZ: Llamas are spitters.
SAGAL: Yeah, exactly.
SLOAN: Who asked for this? Or somebody was like, yo, I bought a llama, but I also needed to beat a tax deduction.
SAGAL: Yeah. Exactly.
(LAUGHTER)
GROSZ: I bought a llama, and my stupid nephew says he can't caddy today (laughter).
(LAUGHTER)
GROSZ: So just...
SAGAL: What this means, by the way...
GROSZ: ...Strap the clubs on the llama.
SAGAL: ...Is if this goes widespread, there will be some golf courses where llamas are allowed but women are not.
UNIDENTIFIED AUDIENCE MEMBER #6: Yeah.
SAGAL: It's true. Is that fair? Maybe not, but that's what happens when billionaires have paid to pack the Supreme Court with llamas.
(LAUGHTER)
JOHNSON: I like that you chose women there.
SAGAL: Oh, yeah.
JOHNSON: (Laughter).
SAGAL: Here is your last limerick.
KURTIS: I will drool when you try to get snuggly, and my eyes and my fur are real struggly (ph). But the world needs to know I am best worst in show. Out of all of the dogs, I'm most...
GREG: Ugly.
SAGAL: Ugly, yes. The world's...
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
KURTIS: Yeah.
SAGAL: ...Ugliest dog has been decided.
GROSZ: Aw.
SAGAL: Every year, there's a contest in Northern California with entries from all over the world to decide who has destroyed the wolf in the most substantial way.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: This year's winner is a Pekingese named Wild Thang. It's a huge victory for the dog, who got second place three years in a row, but now he is a winner. Good for his owners, but it's got to hurt if you're Wild Thang. He's like, yay, I won. Wait. What did I win?
(LAUGHTER)
GROSZ: They probably just give it a little treat and a little bow anyway, right? So they don't - he probably...
SAGAL: Yeah. He doesn't care.
GROSZ: ...Thinks he won some contest.
SAGAL: He doesn't care. He doesn't care.
SLOAN: He doesn't know. He's a dog.
JOHNSON: Yeah.
(LAUGHTER)
JOHNSON: Maybe it's like that episode of "Twilight Zone" where everybody was ugly.
SAGAL: Yeah.
JOHNSON: The lady was beautiful.
SAGAL: Yeah, could be.
JOHNSON: So in the dog world, that's Naomi Campbell.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Bill, how did Greg do in our quiz?
KURTIS: Three in a row. What a genius.
(APPLAUSE)
SLOAN: (Imitating air horn).
SAGAL: Yay. Thank you, Greg. Take care.
GREG: Thank you so much.
SAGAL: Bye-bye.
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL")
JAMES BLUNT: (Singing) You're beautiful. You're beautiful. You're beautiful. It's true.
SAGAL: Now onto our final game, Lightning Fill In The Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many Fill In The Blank questions as they can. Each correct answer is worth two points. Bill, can you give us the score?
KURTIS: Peter Grosz has two. Dulce and Joyelle each have three.
JOHNSON: Ooh.
SAGAL: OK. So Peter, you're in third place. So you're going to start.
GROSZ: OK.
SAGAL: The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. This week, the Supreme Court voted to allow emergency exceptions to Idaho's blank ban.
GROSZ: Abortion.
SAGAL: Right. After...
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: ...Accepting a plea deal with the U.S., WikiLeaks founder blank returned home for the first time in 12 years.
GROSZ: Julian Assange.
SAGAL: Right. This week...
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: ...The chancellor of New York Public Schools said they may announce a full blank ban in January.
GROSZ: Child. No, cellphone ban.
SAGAL: Right. On Thursday...
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: ...Oklahoma state superintendent directed all public...
GROSZ: Oh, God.
SAGAL: ...Schools there to teach blank.
GROSZ: The Bible.
SAGAL: Right. This week...
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: ...In Illinois, a museum said they're investigating the cause of an incident that left their new blank exhibit underwater.
GROSZ: The Bible?
SAGAL: No.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: No. Their new Titanic exhibit is underwater. On Wednesday...
(LAUGHTER)
SLOAN: Whew.
SAGAL: ...NBC announced that sportscaster Al Michaels has approved an AI recreation of his voice for coverage of the summer blank.
GROSZ: Oh, no. Olympics.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: Marking its first new loan in over 20 years, China announced it was sending two blanks to the San Diego Zoo.
GROSZ: China - oh, pandas.
SAGAL: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: This week, over half a million glass coffee mugs were recalled...
(SOUNDBITE OF GOING)
SAGAL: ...Because they explode when you blank.
GROSZ: Put coffee in them.
SAGAL: Yes. In fact, they explode when you put any hot liquid in them.
GROSZ: (Laughter).
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: According to the recall notice, the Declan single-wall glass coffee mug can leak, crack or even explode when you put hot liquid in it.
JOHNSON: (Laughter).
GROSZ: I mean, I get it. Don't even talk to me in the morning until I have detonated my first coffee.
(LAUGHTER)
SLOAN: Ew.
GROSZ: Mmm (ph). You can taste the shards.
SAGAL: Yes.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Bill, how did Peter Grosz do in our quiz?
KURTIS: Here's your hot man. He got seven right...
JOHNSON: (Laughter) Ooh.
KURTIS: ...Fourteen more points...
GROSZ: Easy, Bill.
KURTIS: ...Total of 16.
(APPLAUSE)
JOHNSON: (Laughter).
SAGAL: All right. Dulce, I am arbitrarily picking you to go next.
SLOAN: Oh, good.
SAGAL: So, fill in the blank. On Monday, U.S. prosecutors recommended that the Justice Department file criminal charges against airplane maker blank.
SLOAN: Boeing.
SAGAL: Right. According to...
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: ...The Department of Homeland Security, migrant apprehensions at the blank have dropped by 40%.
SLOAN: The border.
SAGAL: Yes, with Mexico.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: Following days of protests in Nairobi, the president of blank withdrew a controversial new finance bill.
SLOAN: Kenya.
SAGAL: Right. This week...
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: ...Scientists in China opened a capsule containing samples from the far side of the blank.
SLOAN: Moon.
SAGAL: Right. This week...
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: ...In New Orleans, a man was arrested for impersonating a police officer after he used his fake lights and sirens to pull over blank.
SLOAN: A white person.
SAGAL: No.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: An actual police officer.
SLOAN: Sad.
KURTIS: (Laughter).
SAGAL: By drafting Bronny James, the Los Angeles Lakers moved closer to having the first blank and blank on the same NBA team.
SLOAN: Oh, father and son.
SAGAL: Right. On Tuesday...
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: ...Health officials warned that three popular ice cream brands may contain traces of blank.
SLOAN: Stevia.
SAGAL: No, listeria.
GROSZ: Ugh.
SLOAN: Listeria.
SAGAL: Last week, a new wax statute of Abraham Lincoln...
(SOUNDBITE OF GOING)
SAGAL: ...In Washington, D.C., blanked.
SLOAN: (Singing) Melted.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: After a four-day heat wave melted this new sculpture of Lincoln, people began to say, maybe wax was not the best medium. But I'm sorry, has there ever been a more Yankee Candle than a wax...
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: ...Abraham Lincoln?
(APPLAUSE)
SLOAN: Hilarious.
SAGAL: Bill, how did Dulce do on our quiz?
KURTIS: Well, she's in there. She got six right, 12 more points - 15, one short of Peter.
SLOAN: Won't he do it?
SAGAL: All right.
KURTIS: She did very...
SAGAL: How many then does...
JOHNSON: Who is he?
SLOAN: Jesus.
SAGAL: How many then does Joyelle need to win?
KURTIS: Seven.
SAGAL: All right, Joyelle.
JOHNSON: Good Lord.
SAGAL: It's a tall order, but you can do it. Here we go. This is for the game. Fill in the blank. This week, Judge Aileen Cannon said she would revisit a key finding in blank's classified documents case.
JOHNSON: Trump.
SAGAL: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Thursday, pharmacy giant blank announced plans to close stores throughout the country.
JOHNSON: Duane Reade.
SAGAL: No. Walgreens. On Thursday, the Supreme Court rejected the bankruptcy plan of blank Pharma.
JOHNSON: Big pharma.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Purdue Pharma. This week, Apple announced they'd fixed a vulnerability in their Vision Pro headsets that had allowed hackers to blank.
JOHNSON: Raw dog on an airplane.
SAGAL: No.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: To make it seem as if the user's room was filled with spiders. On Wednesday, NASA announced a contract with SpaceX to help drag the blank out of orbit when it is decommissioned.
JOHNSON: The space station.
SAGAL: Right, Joyelle.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: Right.
(CHEERING)
SAGAL: That's going to be worth 10 points. Citing a piece of the car that may just fly off while you're driving, Tesla, once again, recalled the blank.
UNIDENTIFIED AUDIENCE MEMBER #7: Cybertruck.
JOHNSON: That dumba** truck.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: I'm going to give it to you.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: The Cybertruck.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: This week, a woman staying in a French wildlife park...
(SOUNDBITE OF GOING)
SAGAL: ...Was attacked by wolves while she was jogging in blank.
JOHNSON: Booty shorts.
SAGAL: No.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: She was jogging in the wolf enclosure.
SLOAN: (Laughter) Were they like - the people at the park were like, oh, no. We should save her.
(LAUGHTER)
SLOAN: OK. So she was trying to go full "Colors Of The Wind."
SAGAL: Yeah.
SLOAN: And they were like, oh, no, Miss. You about to be the color of blood. You need to sit down.
GROSZ: Yeah.
SAGAL: Yeah, exactly.
JOHNSON: She survived?
SAGAL: She's injured but fine.
JOHNSON: Oh.
SAGAL: Yeah.
(LAUGHTER)
GROSZ: I'm so sorry for your not loss.
JOHNSON: I'm so sorry for your not loss.
SAGAL: Bill, did Joyelle do well enough to win?
KURTIS: She got three right.
JOHNSON: (Laughter) Yes.
SLOAN: (Laughter).
(CHEERING)
KURTIS: Six more points.
SLOAN: (Laughter).
KURTIS: She got a total of nine, which means Peter Grosz is the champion.
SAGAL: Yay for Peter.
JOHNSON: Woo.
SLOAN: Woo-hoo.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: In just a minute, we're going to ask our panel to predict - now that we've got raw dogging flights - what will be the next weird trend of people doing things on airplanes.
(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)
SAGAL: WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Haircut Productions, Doug Berman, benevolent overlord. Philipp Goedicke writes our limericks. Our public address announcer is Paul Friedman. Our tour manager is Shayna Donald. BJ Leiderman composed our theme. Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Doornbos and Lillian King. Special thanks to Monica Hickey, Blythe Roberson and Vinny Thomas this week. The new Matlock - that's Peter Gwinn. Emma Choi is our vibe curator. Technical direction is from Lorna White. Our CFO is Colin Miller. Our production manager's Robert Neuhaus. Our senior producer is Ian Chillag. And the executive producer of WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME is Mike Danforth.
Now, panel, what will people start doing on planes next? Joyelle Nicole Johnson.
JOHNSON: Barebacking...
(LAUGHTER)
JOHNSON: ...Riding an airplane without a shirt.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Peter Grosz.
GROSZ: There will be a rash of weirdos not taking three Xanax and drinking five Jack and Cokes before takeoff.
JOHNSON: (Laughter).
SAGAL: And Dulce Sloan.
SLOAN: Literally building the plane in the air.
(LAUGHTER)
KURTIS: Well, if any of that happens, panel, we'll ask you about it on WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME.
SAGAL: Thank you, Bill Kurtis. Thanks also to Joyelle Nicole Johnson, Peter Grosz, Dulce Sloan. Thanks to everyone at WHYY.
(CHEERING)
SAGAL: Special thanks to Toby Blumenthal and the entire staff and crew at the Mann Center for the Performing Arts in Philadelphia. Thank you for our fabulous audience, who joined us here at this beautiful place. And thank - of all of you out there in radio land for listening.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: I'm Peter Sagal. We'll see you next week.
(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)
SAGAL: This is NPR.
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